Fragmented Memories

I can still remember the dispirited atmosphere of that early morn’. The scent of the faux leather added to the depression of what I am feeling. It is indeed my first time in school back then, yet the image is quite vivid. Tension filled up that church-turned-classroom. Children crying and looking over their parents who patiently waits outside the steel bars. Some refuse to let go of their parents and joins them to sit beside that little chair, and there I was, too confused on what to do. I barely know where I am. I decided just to sit back silently.

That memory is few of the fragment memories I have had inside me. I don’t know what happened to some but I just can’t have a grasp of what had occurred those days. Isn’t it sad to know that you have something you don’t know?

It’s late that night when we are on our way to some place riding a thorned-out taxi. I thought that the time we ride that taxi, we are on some sort of robotic vehicle, just like in my favorite tv show that time–Power Rangers. I was really amazed on how that vehicle fetch us into our destination. Here’s the system, you ride the taxi, tell the driver where to go and leave the work to the taxi. I really admire that robotic vehicle, I thought it’s some sort of big remote control car. I was really bewildered when we are in some sort of crossroads, there is some kind of green signal that points to the right or the the left just behind that circular thing that the driver keeps on playing. It’s so amazing that the taxi knows where to go.

6:00PM is when we reached our greatest downfall ( just an exaggeration ). It’s when another unseen creatures came into play with us. It is no game of commensalism because we are told that we do damage them and we can make them angry if have crossed the line. By that, we are in need to go inside our house and end the joyous laughs and giggles of the day-long childhood game.

After that almost mile-long journey up north into my dad hometown, riding in front seat of our jeepney. I decided to clean-up my feet whose looks seems a potato farm verging on the amount of dirt engraved in it. A day after, I can’t command my feet to do the walking. It seems like the nerves connecting my legs to my brain vanishes. I’m paralyzed. I crawl to my parents room and deeply agitated, I tend to break down. Perplexed by the sudden event taking into accounts every possible cause. I’m not surprised to know that “unseen” creatures are in their top list of possible cause, as my parents concluded. Well, it took me days before I recovered, thanks to the constant massage of my dad with that blessed oil that stinks like an old ancestral home.

I can still remember fragmented memories of my last bonding with my grandpa but I cant have a slight memory of the last official family bonding we have had. That’s before my parents decided to live separately leaving me and my brother into my mother’s account. But one event I remember, it is before that decision occurred. My dad has a bouquet of flowers in hand. We are together in our jeepney and come to fetch my mom somewhere. That’s all I remember. Going down that jeepney, holding my dads hands and walking towards some place. Maybe things that night didn’t work-out fine and so, our family are broken. Just sad not knowing the last bonding you have had being an official family, and worst of all even the first…I’m to young to assume any explanation.

Well, maybe these fragmented memories have a deep impact for me in any manner. Some we’re really important relative to my standards and some are just random memories I have not yet decipher why it is deeply embedded in my memories. Some are rather significant and so I remember it vividly and some we’re just normal events that still looks vivid.

~ by Dyepri Budoy on July 15, 2008.