old days, old manila

growing up in the metro does imprints an image on how do things looks, feels and sounds. as i grew up in the busy streets and markets, jammed residential areas and overflowing people i do noticed the beauty and more so, the harm.

when i am about to go somewhere, i have in mind the possible danger of living in the city. the stories of robbery and assaults is never a myth. you can never imagine the amount of precautions i have, but ironically, i think that what makes the city life more upbeat– the thrills and the sounds, the restlessness and the pigments, the emancipation and the inhibitions.

i posted this video on the 25th of June 2008 after i browsed it somewhere. i fell in love to the city i originally grew afraid of. the attributes seemed surreal– the people, the place..everything! manila is identified as a modern city and the philippines being an agricultural, industrial and independent country way back then. why does it looks so good way back? i can’t even see a fragment of existence between what i saw in the video and what manila looks like now.

you can see the richness of culture, the trace of history on its walls and bridges, the sureness of identity, the beauty. i was left with amazement after watching this and after almost seven months of not seeing this video i still had the same level of pride and the increased level of heartache.

i love manila at the present time, it’s vibrant and diverse but i am not only talking about the physical contrast of the two era. culture is never lost but rather, it evolves. i am not as sure about the attitude change– the attitude towards how we see life in general at the present moment and what we do after realizing it…that could make a difference.

i can argue that it was way before when we are under the supervision of the united states, but i can still argue that we had proven that we can handle our own state. maybe the thing that we should ponder is the action after the initial reactions, that was the thing i think we are defected with.

i cannot solely blame the state, lots of words had been written about our glitches but history has written its fair share of our success. we are now done with the colonialist, maybe it’s time now to battle our internal conflicts, search for our identity and build a stronger foundation of nationalism.

i know we can relive the old days, i have faith in us.

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hater comment, this never fails to make me laugh

ok. kailangan ng matinding paliwanagan muna dito sa comment na to. bago pa man ako naghibernate months ago. namataan ko na tong comment na to. october 5, 2008 is the date. simula noon. pag gusto kong matawa at maasar at the same time. binabasa ko lang to!

hala sige basa!

alm mo ba na hindi ako nagagandahan sa mga pinagsusulat mo jan…… hindi ka karapatdapat dyan,hayop ka gago.putangina ka kailangan ko ng sagot dun sa ass. ko tapos nung ipapasa ko na hindi ayos,bagsak ako alam mo ba yun ng dahil lang sa mga pinagsusulat mo dyan.di ko matanggap at ikaw pa ang nagsulat nyan.
Kung alam mo lang,kung alm mo lang talaga yun nalang ang chance ko at yun pa ang topic na binigay sa akin.ang lakas ng loob ko na ipasa kasi alam ko na computer ko kinuha tapos ganon lang pala hayup ka mamatay ka na sana di kita gusto.kung kilala lang talaga kita pinademanda na kita kahit anong ,mangyari sakin mabigyan lang ng katarungan yung pagbagsak at tigil ko sa pag-aaral. kaya kung ayaw monbg masiraan ng pagkatao mo.tapos hindi pa kumpleto mga storyline dyan hayup ka kung gusto mong maka ganti,pagaralin mo ako sa Ateneo.putang ina mo ka. kung kilala mo lang talaga mga briones na katulad ko.at kung sino ka man magtago tago kana at bantayan mo mga kilos mo.dahil aalamin ko lahat ng pagkatao mo pati mga ninuno mo.maari din agad tayong magkita.at papahanap kita sa abogado namin

pasensya na ha? ang sarap lang i-BOLD at lakihan ang font. watever sayo Ms Gerlyooooooo. kasalanan ko bang personal accounts ang pinaglalagay ko dito at hindi scientific facts? sorry na daw ha? Lols

yaan mo ate. pag-yumaman ako. di lang kita pag-aaralin sa ateneo. susuhulan ko pa ang mga prof dun para i-accelerate ka na nila ng mabilisin at di na pumuti ang buhok nila kakahanap mo ng sagot sa internet, aight? ismaaaaaaayl na kasi!

saka ate. ispiking of demandahan. aba aba. copyright infringement ata yang ginawa mo pero dahil personal accounts ko lang sya at intectual rights lang meron ako. ligtas ka men! lols. dapat kasi inamin mo sa prof mo na kinuha mo lang sa internet para naman sakin sya nagalit at ako binagsak nya.

anuba. natatawa naman ako. tinitignan ko kasi isa-isa mga pinagsusulat ko dito. ni walang papasa sa academic papers. lols. kaya di ko maisip kung ano pinasa mo. di naman kaya yung page tungkol sa akin? haha.

errr. whatever ka. sorry kung nasira ko kinabukasan mo. di na mauulit. sana di nalang naimbento ang internet at nasayang ang pagiging good boy ko. Haha

ispiking of storyline. haha. medyo may alam naman ako kung ano ang storyline ate. at ni isa. walang ISTORYA sa blog ko. hay naku. pero. haha. naku. nababaliw na ako.

sige sige. pasensya na kayo kapwa ko blogger. madedemanda ako ng di-oras. may alam ba kayong matataguan? matindi talaga ata ang galit sa akin ni ate na itatago na nalang natin sa pangalang, Gerylnoooooooooooooooo.

FTW!

para sa mga batang 90’s dyan

Di ko matanggap ng nabasa ko ang blog na ITO sa isang multiply friend. Matapos ang ilang araw, naging maugong ang post na to at todo-todo na sa pagrerepost. Syempre, papahuli ba ako?

Dati tayo pa ang mga bini-baby, ngayon tayo na mga ate, kuya, nanay, tatay, ninong, ninang, abay…lahat na. Pero, bilib din naman ako sa genre na to dahil nasa pagitan tayo ng modernisasyon at pananatili ng ‘konting’ values dahil sa GMRC class. Haha. Di tulad ng psp at xbox era ngayon. Shet na malagket, marunong din naman tayo nun.

Isa-isahin nyo to at pag natawa kayo, nangiti, may naalala, syurbol akong batang 90’s ka!

1. Masaya ka kapag naglalaro ka ng Tex at Pog. Kadalasan ang design dito ay yung mga palabas sa TV, mga drama o kaya anime, may dialogue pa.

2. May comics pa ang bazooka. Kahit di mo maintindihan yung Fortune Cookie sa huli ay collection mo pa rin yun.

3. Uso pa yung tirador, yung gawa talaga sa sanga ng puno.

4. Ang mga babae naglalaro ng paper dolls na tigpipiso bawat isang set sa sari-sari store.

5. Kung lalake ka, siguradong may pellet gun ka.

6. Humihingi ka ng dalawang piso sa magulang mo para maglaro ng video arcade sa sari-sari store. Favorite mo yung Sonic, Mario at Street Fighter at Tetris.

7. Nagwa-watusi ka kapag New Year kahit pinapagalitan ka ng nanay mo.

8. Meron kang sapatos na umiilaw yung swelas kapag iniaapak mo. Mas sikat kung iba-iba yung kulay.

umiilaw na sapatos

9. Merong at least isang Chicago Bulls na shirt sa bahay nyo. Madalas number 23 pa yung nakalagay.

10. Pinapatulog ka ng yaya/nanay mo tuwing tanghali o hapon para raw lumaki. Hindi na kasi pinapatulog ang mga bata ngayon tuwing tanghali di tulad nung panahon natin.

11. Sinasabihan ka ng matatanda na may lalabas na pari o bigas sa sugat mo kapag hindi nilagyan ng alcohol pero in the end, betadine lang ang magpapatahimik sa inyo.

12. Kung babae ka, nagkaroon ka ng butterfly hairclips/rings. (si Jolina ang nagpauso nito)13. Kung medyo may pera ang pamilya nyo, nagpabili ka ng Polly Pocket.

butterfly

14. Naglalagay ka ng Kisses (yung mabango) sa pencil case mo, o kaya sa isang lalagyan na may bulak, alcohol at tinutusok ng karayom para mabilis manganak.

15. May free stickers ng Disney movies sa loob ng Maggi noodles.

16. Pinapatunog mo yung takip ng Gatorade.



17. Ang mga stationeries na uso: Papemelroti, Tsukuba, Sashikibuta. Pwedeng ibenta, pwedeng trade lang.

18. Pampalipas oras mo dati ang paglalaro ng Brick Game, at swerte yung mga may advanced version na may tumatagos na blocks para mapuno na yung gap sa loob. Mas advanced ka kung Tamagotchi ang nilalaro mo. Pinapakain mo, pinapatulog mo, at inililibing mo kung namatay na. At kung talagang kaya nyong bumili, Game Boy ang sayo. Pero kung wala ka talaga, yung laruan na lang na may tubig sa loob tapos dapat ma-shoot mo yung mga bilog sa stick na maliit.

tamagochi_by_manulina

19. Bago magsimula ang klase, nakikilaro ka muna sa 10-20, jackstone, langit lupa, ice water, taguan, dr. quack quack, tumbang preso, pepsi seven up at agawan base. Di bale nang madumi na ang uniform mo pagpasok ng classroom.

20. Sinasabi mo sa kaklase mo na “Liars go to hell” kapag tingin mo nagsisinungaling sya. ”Cross my heart, hope to die” kapag nangangako ka. “Period no erase” kapag gusto mo walang kumontra sayo. Kaya lang wala kang lusot kapag sinabi ng kaklase mo na “Akin yung factory ng pambura”.

21. Sikat ka pag ang pencil case mo nabubuksan sa dalawang side taposmaraming attachments like magnifying lens, book stand, compartments na maliliit tapos push button pa. Minsan sa ibabaw ng pencil case meron pang maze, may maliit na silver na bola tapos itatagilid mo yung pencil case para gumulong yun, hanggang sa matapos yung maze.

22. Di ka baduy kung ang notebook mo nung elementary ay may mukha ng artista

23. Sa coleman mo inilalagay ang tubig na baon mo sa school.

24. Nagpabili ka ng Baby-G sa magulang mo.

25. Elementary ka nung nauso ang pager. Yun pa ang pinapangarap ng mga bata, hindi pa cell phone.

26. Meron ka pa rin ng pinakamalaking cell phone na nakatago na ngayon sa mga kahon.

cell

27. Wala pang PS/PS2, XBox, Wii, atbp. noon. Family Computer pa lang, yung cartridge yung bala. Usong laro ang Mario Bros., Battle City at Rambo.

28. Meron ka ng isa sa mga ito: Family Computer, Nintendo, Sega, roller blades, brick game, Tamagochi, Swatch Watch w/ matching guard, Troll collection.

29. Alam mo ang mga linyang ito sa mga kanta: “Natatawa ako, hi hi hi hi”, “Anong paki mo sa long hair ko”, “Dahil sa bawal na gamot”, “Mga kababayan ko, bilib ako sa kulay ko”.

30. Isa dito ay theme song mo: “I Swear” by All 4 One, “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes (Andsay, Hey ey ey ey ey ey. I said hey, What’s goin on!), “Zombie” by Cranberries.

31. Sumasayaw ka ng Macarena.

32. Alam mo ang kanta ng Spice Girls at may favorite ka sa kanila. Kung fan ka talaga, may poster ka pa at casette tape ka pa nila.

33. Malamang ay naging fanatic ka ng isa sa mga sumikat na boy bands.

westlife_by_campanitta

34. Ang tinutugtog lagi sa radyo ay mga kanta ng mga banda gaya ng Eraserheads, Parokya ni Edgar nung nagpapalda pa lang sila, Alamid, Rivermaya, True Faith, The Youth, Afterimage at kung anu-ano pang pinoy bands.

35. Tape pa ang uso, di CD or MP3 players. Pag gusto mo yung kanta kailangan tantyahin mo kung ilang seconds i-rewind yun para mabilis paulit-ulitin.

36. Kinakanta nyo dati sa school yung “Heal the World”, “Tell the World of His Love”, “Jubilee Song”, etc.

37. Nanonood ka dati ng Power Rangers, Captain Planet o Ninja Turtles. Nagkukunyari pa kayo ng mga kaibigan mo na kayo yun at nagkakasipaan kayo.

power

38. Di ka papagalitan ng magulang kahit magbabad ka sa TV, basta ang pinapanood mo ay Hiraya Manawari, Bayani at Sine Skwela, kung saan nakilala mo sila Teacher Waki, Ugat Puno, Palikpik, at ang buong barkada nila lalo na kapag nakasakay sila sa space ship o  sa jeep na lumilipad.

sinelogo

39. Sinubaybayan mo ang Ghost Fighter at ang Dragon Ball. Naging favorite mo si Eugene at si Goku.

40. Niloloko mo yung theme song ng Voltes V kasi di mo maintindihan yung theme song: ”Tato ni Ara Mina malaking cobra…”, “Boltes Payb lima sila, pumunta sa kubeta…”, ”…Kontra Bulate!”

41. Napanood mo din yung ibang anime tulad ng Shaider, Sailormoon, Daimos at Maskman. Saulo mo pa nga yung kanta dun: “Oh maskuman kayo ang pag-asa.. Iligtas kami sa marahas na kadiliman… Kami inyong ipaglaban! Sugod, sugod laban maskuman, ipaglaban nyo ang katarungan.. Sige, sige laban maskuman..”

42. Sinubaybayan mo ang Sarah ang Munting Prinsesa, Julio at Julia, at Cedi. Pinanood mo pa nga yung movie version ng Sarah ang Munting Prinsesa with Camille Prats.

43. Alam mo din yung “Ang Pulubi at ang Prinsesa” with Camille Prats and Angelica Panganiban.

44. Gusto mong sumali sa ANG TV. Pero alam mong hindi na pwede. kaya kuntento ka na lang sa panonood nito tuwing 4:30 ng hapon.

45. Batibot ang usong palabas. Akala mo nga mag-dyowa o mag-asawa sina Kuya Bodjie at Ate Sheena.

46. Alam mo yung tono ng pinausong kanta ng show na “ATBP.”: Isa.. dalawa-tatlo.. apat-lima.. anim-pito-walo.. syam-sampu… labingisa-labingdalawa… labingtatlo… labingapat-labinglima…

47. Napanood mo ang Batang X.

batang

48. Sabay kayo nanonood ng yaya mo ng Marimar.

49. Nanonood ka ng kahit alin dito: “Okay Ka Fairy Ko”, “Oki Doki Doc”, “Abangan ang Susunod na Kabanata”, “Palibhasa Lalake”, “Ober da Bakod”, at “Home Along Da Riles”.

50. Galit ka kay Clara kasi sobra naman talaga sya mang-api kay Mara.

51. Pinanood mo din yung “Villa Quintana”, “Esperanza”, “Anakarenina” atbp.

52. Mga love teams na nagpakilig sayo: Juday and Wowie. Jolina and Marvin.

53. Alam mo yung commercial ng Tender Juicy hotdog na ganito: “Dear diary, Carlo sat beside me today. He’s so cute! Sabi niya I’m pretty kaya lang I’m fat.”

54. Kinakanta mo yung “Thank God it’s Sabado, pati na rin Linggo…” at “Isa pa, isa pa, isa pang Chicken Joy”.

55. Nasa channel 2 pa ang Eat Bulaga at ang Mel and Jay.

56. Nakikita mo sa balita na may mga kultong nagtatago na sa kweba, kasi magugunaw na ang mundo sa year 2000, at yung mga computer daw bigla na lang mag-shu-shut down at mawawala na daw ang technology.

57. Chinese variety shows ang palabas tuwing umaga ng linggo.

58. Matapang ka kung napanood mo lahat ng Shake, Rattle and Roll movies.

59. Narinig mong i-announce sa radyo yung death ni Princess Diana. Biglang nauso yung kanta ni Elton John na “Goodbye, England’s Rose.”

60. Nasa VHS yung mga movies na pinapanood ninyo sa bahay.

61. Kung babae ka, naging crush mo si Leonardo di Caprio dahil sa Titanic. Kaya nga lang, bawal ka pa tumingin sa kissing scenes nina Jack at Rose. Haha.

titanic

in migration

 in migration

 

It’s been 5 months, 9 days, 6 hours, 20 minutes and 35 seconds when the Boeing flight number unknown landed in San Francisco Int’l Airport. Since then, life has been a combination of climactic life experience and the opposites.

I am emancipated from dependency the time I set foot in this land. Far beyond the physical dependency of a son to his mother and father. I am christened to self-govern. It’s ‘Independence’ to the fullest.

This migration is medley of crest and nadir. I have longed of navigating the world but at the same I want to be with my friends and family back h0me. I could reestablish myself but I need to reestablish relationships again.

After five months of staying here. I experience the joy of having my first paycheck; opened my own savings and checking account, treat myself with  scrumptious foods, bought a local and roaming phone, send money back home, bought my first MP3 Player (zune 120). All of that in my first paycheck. Even my payroll manager is smiling all the way when she saw how spirited I am for my first paycheck 

I’m disappointed by not making it in school last fall semester (july 2008). I am enrolled in a degree in school but my tuition is too costly for me to handle and it’s quite impractical to enroll yet. My tuition would cost me USD200 per unit since I’m still under the classification of non-californian resident/ international student. I should stay for at least a year and a day for me to qualify for the subsidized tuition of USD20/unit.

Homeboy and without nothing to do, I decided to look for a job. Timing, there is a new store opening about month when we got here. It will only take you about a minute and a half walking. You can even see the store in my room.

The interview went well. They can’t believed the fact that it’ll be my first job. Then I realized the social implications of being ’18’ in this country. I applied for any jobs available and since I’m quite literate and proficient they put me as a cashier (they really told me that. lols). The hell I know about US bills and coins that time. I didn’t even know the slang on how they’re called, then I crammed. I asked lola to give me some bills to review. It’ll take time to get used to it.

The first day of training, I am fretting. My nerves are all over my body-worst, in my hands. Then that time, I discover nickel. The heck about that nickel, lola didn’t gave any sample of 5cents. I just laughed after. That’s how unfamiliar I am with their bills.

Working here is quite rewarding. The good thing  is it makes me preoccupied and not think of the emoness anymore. Really, after almost week of just staying at home I feel my hair (especially the bangs) grew abnormally fast, errr. I’m getting crazy, haha.

Then this is when another realization will come into place. The image of people living in the US and the family left behind in the Philippines. Now, I’m also ‘responsible’ of sending money and packages back home. There’s no problem about that, it’s just now that I’m here that I understood that there is no difference on how people earn money- by hardwork . People here almost sleep in their work thinking of all the bills and credits to pay. Time here goes too fast.

Talk about human relationships here. There is a scarce amount of social targets here. They are either at work or in school. The neighborhood itself is too quiet to handle, well for me who came from a densely populated community in Caloocan. Errr, sometime I wanna shout for them to go out. But, this statistic brings the remaining blood relative here much closer.

Migrating is, as I said, a combination of crest and nadir. It has it’s highest and lowest point. It is a matter of test whether you’ll raise your hand to surrender or keep yourself focused on your goal.  There is no easy thing in this world. I want growth and together with the opportunity to migrate, I grabbed it. It’s not giving up on what I had back home, it’s more on adding up. It’s a way to find purpose. I’m still a friend and it’s a test of distance. I’m still a family and it’s a test of trust. I might be way too far, but I’m still here just IN MIGRATION.

i am no carlos bulosan

it all happens after the insipid ideals of my humanities class. whereas the burden of finding a book, skimming it, close, then open again and spend nights before the deadline gruelling and printing your paper hours before the class. they call it term paper, i call it pseudo liability.

but everything seems to point me toward meeting someone departed, scrutinising a rigid more complicated biography thru books and text, engaging myself towards a life he had that i might possess.

a young boy drowned by the deception of poverty. a real witness of social stigma and for others, they are the visuals of this stigma.

i never thought i could stand with my principle, i never knew i have it at all. but when my professor at the other side of the building asked the class what went wrong in our country. deep silence. all you can hear is the shuddering of the air condition and the shivery people vying for the title of i-can-handle-the-cold even when their faces disagrees.

then suddenly, a hand threw up high in the air. so high that the cold faces sigh a relief for that hand can be their hope to say i-handle-the-cold, but their faces grew more white knowing that the hand does not rebel with the cold, but rebel with the question.

i never wanted to admit it. but it’s the same hand typing at the moment. it’s when people wanted another battle in mactan but because rather inapproppriate, they call it power of the people, power of the masses. yes, we are all indeed sick and tired with the administration. don’t get me wrong, i’m talking about the present administration, the one with loud boo’s and jeer’s. yah, another present times, another boo’s and jeer’s, another call for action, different faces of the leaders, same problem.

did we all try to put ourselves in equation? or do we still need batches of great lawmakers, great leaders and great people and put them in the collection of crocodile effigy soon to be burned. it’s great to see people still fighting for a cause, but it’s weakening to see people fighting for a cause not knowing what they are fighting for because they are marionettes of social illeteracy and more despairing is that their ventriloquist is vying for a hidden power.

suddenly, that one hand raised breaks the silence of the class, hands down and i feel the collected shiver in my body and my mouth started to tremble, evidently. the professor come somewhat shocked, neither of us expected that kind of utter. but it all come into conclusion. that principle is somewhat acclaimed. well, everybody may argue for the lack of this, lack of that. i know i can’t make deep reasoning, i am not so confidant with words. but whatever your notion is/or any hater response. it’s worthy of the class’ hand. ^.^

it’s so stupid that being away from my home, i tend to make this kind of recall and be sober. I am no Mr Carlos Bulosan, the one drowned with poverty in his own lifetime. The protagonist of his own novel and years after, i observe the written words furtively.

Mr Carlos Bulosan represent the modern day migrants. the need to be lost to find theirselves away but with ease of economic norms. the need to be away for the promise of everything green. unlike him, after the worst trials the foreign land has given him, he can still see a bit of light and tries to magnify it with his spirit. i don’t know if i can handle it. america indeed is in the heart and that heart belongs to my native land.

mr carlos “allos” has given me real inspiration. i am where his foot once stood. i just don’t know if i can stand to his principle.

Memories in the Old Acacia Tree (Creative Poetry)

Creative Poetry

Memories in the Old Acacia Tree

Jeffrey Umotoy

.

I love playing

Under the old acacia tree

Drawing my name on its husky trunk

And hiding to the warmth rays of the sun

I am here through My good and bad times

Remembering the days of the Blossoming flowers

Where grasshoppers chirps and hops through the lawn

I see the rosy red morning, and the orange yoLk sundown

I play with my peers, running, hiding to the acacia tree

Alone, all I do is get a twig and write to the ground

A malady came; I’m not allowed to go to the tree

I’m so sad, cry all day, happy days are gone

I plea to my mother to bring me to the tree

The tree have chaNge, it change a lot

I don’t feel I’m home, he left me

Not just the tree,

Everything’s gone

The rosy red morn’,

Blue sky and clouds

I can hear the chirps

But they seem hiding

All I can see is Dark

And all I can feel

Is the warmth of the sun.

High school, high school! Haha, I made this poem way back in high school, suppose-to-be entry sa english week celebration. Pero yun, di ko sya naipasa. Ok lang, wagi naman ang essay entry ko (yabang!) haha.

Why I Love UP Profs! : UP Professor Quotes

UP Professors Lovely Quotes!

From: www.yehba.com

www.peyups.com

www.drowingsolutionsph.multiply.com

www.burubudoy.wordpress.com

I. www.yehba.com

1. “The aim of policy making is to
invoke action! Because action speaks louder than words! You do not just say
I love you. You say: If you love me, enter me! ”
-Dr. Alfonso Pacquing

.

2.”Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam nyo. I am having a hard time
checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on what to do about it.
Class dont worry about your grade. Let me worry about it.”
-sir de jesus,envi sci 1

.

3.(Valentines Day)
“Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa ng scores niyo? Siguro
wala kayong date ngayong  valentines kaya ganito kayo. Losers!!! When i was
your age i had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR euphoria  ng grades
niyo? Parang di kayo masaya…” (sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa sahig)
“I won’t record this. Go find a date.”
(sabay walk out.)
-Sir Doliente,BA.

.

4.Ma’am: Many people believe that we, psychology graduates can read minds…
(silence) Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma’am: Right now, you think that I’m bluffing
-Ma’am Chei

.

5.”I don’t give surprise long exams. all exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!”
-Ma’am Chei (again)

.

6.”The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag may
kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG!!!”
-Dr. Recio

.

7.”Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno… baket? aanhin ko ba nun? di naman ako yayaman
dun.”
-Sir Atoy, histo I

.

8.(commenting on a thesis of a senior student)
‘Yang thesis mo? .. Mamamatay ka!! Mamamatay ka!!’
– Dr. llanes, UPM.

.

9.”Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube. Kaya kunggusto niyong magka-anak ng
asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo habang gumagawa.”
-Ma’am Meggie, Zoo 10

.

10.”Last sem was the first time that I gave a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!”
Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first day of class

.

UP MNEMONICS

ZODIAC SIGNS:
According (Aries)
To (Taurus)
Gabby (Gemini)
Concepcion (Cancer)
Laging (Leo)
Very (Virgo)
Loving (Libra)
Si (Scorpio)
Sharon (Sagittarius)
Cuneta (Capricorn)
After (Aries)
Performing (Pisces)

.

FOR BIOLOGY:
THE TWELVE CRANIAL NERVES
Oh
Oh
Oh
To
Touch
And
Feel
A
Girl’s
V________,
So
Heavenly

and it stands for:
CN 1 – Olfactory
CN 2 – Optic
CN 3 – Oculomotor
CN 4 – Trochlear
CN 5 – Trigeminal
CN 6 – Abducens
CN 7 – Facial
CN 8 – Auditory (or acousticovestibular )
CN 9 – Glossopharyngeal
CN 10 – Vagus
CN 11 – Spinal Accessory
CN 12 – Hypoglossal

.

King
Phillip
Came
Over
For
Good
Sex

FOR:
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Family
Genus
Species

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DNA BASE PAIRINGS:
Call Girl si Techie Agbayani
C-G
T-A

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FOR PHYSICS:
NEWTON ‘S SECOND LAW OF MOTION:
a = F/m
or Father over Mother equals Anak!

FORMULA FOR PRESSURE
P = F/a
or Father over Anak equals Pamangkin!

II. www.peyups.com

1.”The more wisdom you obtain, the more you shut your mouth. This is because the more that you learn, the more you realize that there are even more things that you do not know. The true mark of an idiot is a loudmouth, the true mark of a wise man is humility”
–Paraphrased galing kay PI100. Puta best prof sa CAL.

Na overhear ko lang nung palabas na ko ng klase:

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2.Classmate: Ma’am, pwede po bang next week na kami mag report?
Ma’am: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.

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3. Sir U Eliserio during creative writing class…

“try everything once except incest”

and one day pumasok ng room, galit na galit. hinagis ang bag sa table, nagwawala sa harap ng room dahil hindi daw nasagot ng previous class niya ang question niya. kaya dapat daw masagot namin, ang makasagot may plus points. kapag walang makasagot, lagot kami.

ang tanong…. “class, sinong lalaking artista dun sa TV show na wonder years”?

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4.”Mamatay na mangopya…”

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5.”Ang hindi maka-100, bobo!

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6.”im gay. so gay i could show you my penis because it is but an accessory to my body”
-jean navera, spcm1

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7. sa STAT 1 lab:

“ok class, alala nyo pa ba ang asymptote? sa math 11 or 17 niyo? ganun class. ganun kayo sa pagpasa sa STAT1”
-pauline pastor.

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8. FIRST DAY OF CLASSES: “Kung may boyfriend o girlfriend kayo na hindi taga-UP, hiwalayan niyo na agad. Walang pupuntahan yan. Hindi kayo magkaka-intindihan. Tapos yung mga anak niyo, magiging bobo. Gusto niyo ba yun?”

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9. ANOTHER PROF: “Hoy girls, wag kayong kukuha ng boyfriend dito sa UP. Pare-parehas tayong mahirap dito. Kumuha kayo ng mayaman. 80% of the child’s intelligence comes from the Mother naman eh. Kayo guys, wag kayo kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo anak niyo.”

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10. “Class, Chinatown is not in China

. And Ateneo de Manila University is not… a university.”

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11. STUDENT: Sir, pwede po magpa-sit in yung friends ko?
PROF: From what school are they?
STUDENT: St. Scho po.
PROF: “Go ahead. So they’ll realize what they’re missing. St. Scho, St. Scho… eskwelahan na ba yun sa inyo?!”

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12. “Class, kaya mahal ang bayad sa mga professors sa ibang school kasi ang bobobo ng mga estudyante dun. Dyuskoh, I used to teach there… at lumuluha talaga ako ng dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students yung sinasabi ko. Ang mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga kakaulit ng lessons! Wag na lang! Dito na ko sa UP, at least nagkakaintindihan tayo. Diba?”

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13. Dr. Recio: What causes asthma?
Classmate (na-overwhelm): Ummm, asthma is caused by… Pollens and dust and–
Dr. Recio: NO! Asthma is genetically predisposed!
After five seconds…
Dr. Recio: What causes asthma?
Same classmate: Ma’am, it’s genetically predisposed.
Dr. Recio: YES! Very good!

Matindi kasi short-term memory loss ni ma’am.

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14. sorry class i’m late. grabe ang traffic sa EDSA, pero di ako dumaan doon!
~ acctg1 prof

di namin alam kung matatawa kami o hindi.

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15. Dahil kami ang mga huling estudyante ni Dr. David at mahal na mahal namin siya, nag-compile kami dati ng mga quotable quotes mula sa kanya. Ito ang ilan:

“Meanings we find are the meanings we make.”

“WHAT YOU LEARN IN UP IS TO GO ON AND NEVER GIVE UP. THAT IF THERE BE ONE PERSON LEFT STANDING, LET IT BE ME. LET ATENEO FALL FIRST BEFORE UP…”

“The measure of a man is how many doors he has opened to other people, especially to those he doesn’t know.”

“To be born is to die. In between they grow and multiply like flies. 6.2 billion people in the world. Kadiri, ano?”

“Why not life? Why call it soul? Call a spade a spade.”

“Earth is the only heaven we can know.”

“religion is a successful economic institution”

“Do not live long enough to be worthless.”

“Domestication of the human male is one of the greatest achievement of the human race.”

“I do not know many. I only know enough to teach my classes.”

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16. We do not accept anyone here in class except for those who are members of a certain minority group. For example, gays are part of a minority group, bakla ka ba? If you admit to this class that you are gay, then I’ll admit you”

-Prof “hail to the chair”, to a guy student na nagpre-prerog

in the end, ayaw umamin ni guy… di tuloy tinanggap…

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17. Everything you need to know about the electron, it’s position, momentum, etc, ay makukuha mo sa kanyang wavefunction. Kaya kung gusto mong makilala ang isang babae, itanong mo sa kanya,’Hi.

May I know your wavefunction?'” -Prof in physics

Second day of classes
Same Prof: (kinuha ang box ng colored chalks) Ano ba naman ito… (tapos iniitsa sa lamesa yung mga dark colored chalks)


class: (tahimik na nagmamasid)

Prof: Class, sulatan niyo ang manufacturer ng chalk na ito, at sabihing tanggalin na ang mga walang kwentang kulay na ito… brown, green, violet. hindi makikita ito sa board. Convince them

class: (tahimik at gulat)

Prof: and .25 incentive sa final grade niyo!

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18. “Bilib ka kay Alan Peter Cayetano? E ambaba ng grades n’un e!”

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19.”Si Miriam, crush ko ‘yun dati. Muntikan na maging kami, kaso nasiraan ng ulo, kaya ‘yun, iba ang asawa ko.”

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20. “Class, gusto ko kayong i-train na mag-English, so hen you’re here in class, magsalita kayo ng English! Ako lang ang exempted dahil matanda na ako at ako ang teacher!”

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21. If you really love someone, just act like a swan; once he finds his mate, he will never find anyone else. But when his lover goes away, he dies because he thinks that his life no longer has purpose in this world.”

A semester of cooky, sometimes corny, but sometimes thought-provoking advice on life, love and ambition from Dr. Melitton Juanico (circa 2nd semester AY 2006-2007).

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III. http://drowingsolutionsph.multiply.com

1. Ma’am sierra, bio150(ecology)
humangin, nalipad yung acetate dahil humangin ng malakas. imbis na hawakan nya yung OHP, dali-
dali nyang hinawakan yung whiteboard.

Sir Punzalan, Stat 121

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2. “Summattion of five x3 plus 5×2 (reading a mathematical equation) minus one… pero di ibig
sabihin na kakanta kayo”

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3. In this one class, we were discussing about infants and kids in their early childhood. To
illustrate kung paano nagpa-pivot prone ang isang bata, yung DEAN ng college namin ay dumapa sa
floor at doon ay nagpa-ikot-ikot. (Go Dean Jake! O di ba, down-to-earth kahit dean?)

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4. Sir Ebreo, Span 11 – discussion: imperativo
Kapag magkaaway daw kayo ng bf mo, ang sasabihin mo is “No me toques” *thought: tama ba ang
spelling? pakitama na lang po ako.* (don’t touch me). Pero kapag okay daw kayo, sasabihin nyo
(with feelings and with actions) “Tocame! Tocame!” (Touch me! Touch me!)

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5. Sabi ng isa naming prof:
“Why should we tie up with (name ng school) when they don’t even rely on their graduates?”
Bwahahaha! SAPUL! GO UP!

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6. Bio1 Prof. Mamaril
“Okay, so the mountain gorilla, gorilla gorilla beringei of mount virunga is…”
(sabay pasok ng classmate ko na six-footer, maitim at shaved ang ulo, tapos nagtitigan sila ng
matagal ni prof)
“…speaking of the gorilla!”
(cue pandemonium sa klase)

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7. Si Prof Diestro ulet…
tnanong niya sa min kung kilala ba namin siya. sabi niya “my father is a carpenter and my
father is a carpenter”. tapos meron pang “i am conceived immaculately”. sinabi niya siya daw si
hesus. nagtanong pa ng “don’t you believe me?”. huling sinabi niya “believe in me”.

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8. “correct me if I’m right”  ~ anonymous

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9. Sabi ng Math 100 prof
“Class you should listen because if you dont’ listen, you would not know what you don’t know!”

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10. Nagalit sya sa iba kasi daw yung nilagay sa blue book ay mr. lang dapat daw professor kaya
ang sabi nya, “Ano ba ako dito di ba professor. It’s better to promote than to demote! Kaya nga
pag yung taga-UP pagsinabihan mong di ba taga-UST ka, magagalit daw at nakasimangut pa. Pero
pag taga-UST at sinabihan mong di ba taga-UP ka, ngingiti pa daw.”

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11. ito pa sabi nya sa amin, “dapat kayong mag-anak ng marami, mga sampo. Huwag nating hayaan na
mas maraming anak ang mga mangmang dahil sa susunod na henerasyon ang mga walang alam ang
mamumuno sa atin kawawaya naman ang bayan.”

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12. “ang letran kilala pero hindi yan makikita sa mapa pero ang ust kahit papano makikita…
kaya lang pagtinignan mo ang ranking mga na 500 pataas”

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13. si prof. monsod in her conio moment, she said,
“making plantsa with the coal..”
she’s actually referring dun sa plantsa nung unang panahon na uling daw yung ginagamit para
gumana.

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14. si tanttoco ng kas 1 nakakatuwa yung mgaa hirit nya tapos yung mga class requirments nya may
katumbas na kanta like:
group work= hawak kamay nyahahhahahahahhaha

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15.Mareng Winnie sa Econ Auditorium, “Godd***it to hell class! Don’t sleep on me! ” Tapos
pinagalitan nya yung isang natutulog sa last row, “You, blah, blah…” ‘Tas narealize nya na ,
Teaching fellow pala sa Econ, discussioner nya, hahaha!

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16.eto kasama sa class rules ng prof ko sa natsci1:
“you may hug, but no kissing”

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17. late dumating sa class si Mr. MATH 17 prof na bagong kasal lang. nagmamadali tapos sabay sabi
” SORRY CLASS NAPUYAT AKO. GANYAN TALAGA PAG MAY-ASAWA…”

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18.NSTP coordinator namin:
“Ano ba kayo! Ang iingay ninyo! Para kayong mga batang street children!”
an old relic from the martial law era on a classmate who won’t stand up while reciting:
“Miss ___, please stand up so I could see the contours of your body.”
at pag may dumadaan daw na sexy, his remark–“Wow. Rape-able.”

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19.BULKENYO.

“Just because the bulkenyo errupts today, it is not necessarily the case that the bulkenyo
will….”

IV. www.burubudoy.wordpress.com

Paraphrased quotation from my own prof.

During our discussion

Classmate: Sir saan po kami hihingi ng appointment letter para sa inteview? (para sa mga tv station, writers, artist, government agencies and private companies)

Prof: Anong apo-apointment letter? Pakita nyo lang ID nyo.

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Prof: Kung gusto nyo talaga malaman ang pinakamabisang pananaliksik, gayahin nyo ang isa kong estudyanteng nagbayad ng macho dancer para malaman ang buhay ng macho dancer.

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Prof: Kung pipili kayo ng lugar para manaliksik, ayaw kong piliin nyo ang Baguio. Nadala na ako, yung estudyante ko dati dalawang magkagrupo, nagtaka nalang ako at di na bumalik pagkagaling ng baguio. Paglipas ng dalawang sem nagpakita silang dalawa kinukuha akong ninong ng anak nila. Anak ng tupa, isinabuhay ang ang kanilang pananaliksik ” teen pregnancy”.

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Prof: Ewan ko nga ba sa mga Pilipino, iniidolo si Maria Clara, eh anak naman yun sa pagkakasala.

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Prof: Last year, oblation run, nagpaalam mga estudyante kong huwag nalang daw magklase kesyo manonood daw sila, ako naman ito, edi pumayag. Ayun sa sunod na klase namin, nakasimangot sila di daw sila nakakita ng birdie. Kung saan-saan pa kasi nagpunta, pagkaalis nila, biglang dumaan dito yung mga nakahubad, walang katao-tao, kitang-kita ko tuloy ang biyaya.

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Prof: Kung hindi lang nagbubulag-bulag ang pamahalaan, edi wala sana si Aguinaldo sa listahan ng ating mga bayani.

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Sa isang klase ko sa research writing

1st meeting

Prof: Matatapos itong kursong natin ng hindi ko hahawakan ang inyong mga papel, ano kayo sinuswerte? Hindi ko babasahin isa-isa yan, edi kung ganun, ako ang matututo hindi kayo! Excuse me, “DR” na ako, di ko kailangan yan.

2nd meeting (after ituro ang intro)

Prof: Sa kursong ito, either 1 or 5 ang grade mo, pag nagpasa edi 1 pag hindi 5

3rd meeting (after ituro ang first 4 modules)

Prof: Ayan, tapos na tayo sa first 4 modules, ngayon meron na tayong grade na 1, 2, 3 at 5. Tignan natin sa susunod na meeting at pag natapos natin ang halos 30 modules, tignan natin ang grades na pagpipilian nyo!

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Asian History Prof

Prof: Punyeta yang mga sinasabing atheist sila, The mere fact that they have that grammatical equivalent for the word GOD, it means that they have the notion of GOD. Kaya wag nilang sasabihing walang GOD.

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Philo Prof: THERE IS NO GOD!

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=) nakakatuwa mga prof! hehe